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Remember: Any choice you make will have new challenges, new pressures, and new consequences. We make our decisions, but then our decisions turn around and make us. We are not free to choose the consequences of any choice we make…we will need to deal with them as they follow us in life. With that in mind, let’s look at things to consider, specifically with the choice of abortion.
1) Are you considering abortion so that your life will not change?In reality, your life will change no matter what option you choose. Any choice will bring many changes. You may be risking the very things you hope to protect…career, relationships, peace of mind.
2) Are you fearful of losing your partner?Statistics show that 70% of all relationships break up within three months of an abortion. Once a crisis such as an unexpected pregnancy hits, life never goes back directly to what was…there are new issues to deal with. Even the closest of relationships have often not been able to weather an abortion. Abortion is a serious matter between partners. Together you will have a baby decision…to parent together (whether you marry or not), to place for adoption, or to abort…but there will always be a baby to consider and consequences to bear. Abortion is only done when there is a baby….it is done for no other reason. With abortion, there is no turning back, and relationships are affected in the bedroom and beyond!
3) Are you looking to avoid the guilt of facing your parents with this pregnancy?How will abortion help the guilt? This is too high a price for guilt as most parents react with anger and disappointment not because they think less of you as their child, but because they care about you and worry about you and want you to experience the best in life. They, too, are concerned with your future. In most cases, parents turn out to be your best support system. Give them time to get over their initial shock, and you will find they love you enough to support you through any crisis.
4) Are you choosing abortion to be free of the problems you are facing with your partner or with your family?How will abortion help an already troubled situation? Make no mistake about it, abortion will affect you and may even seem to help in the beginning. Unfortunately, it often leaves you with a whole new set of problems you haven’t counted on in the days and years to come. Aborting a baby will not take away problems already existing. It will, in fact, add to them. Talk to those who have been there!
1) Ask yourself, “Do I feel abortion is right, or do I feel it is wrong but at the same time necessary?” You can’t know what is necessary until you know what first is right. “Necessary” is never on the side of “wrong.” You should never change your value system in any decision. You will forever regret it.
2) Are you rationalizing your decision?Sometimes decisions are rationalized out of fear, embarrassment, or life circumstances. Our stomach is often a better indicator of what we really feel and about our sense of values than our head is. Our heads can justify almost anything. Rationalization is a big part of an abortion decision. Our stomach often lets us know what our conscience is trying to say to us. Are you at peace with your decision, or are you anxious? What is your stomach trying to tell you?
3) Consider how you make decisions. What are your decisions based on?Are they based on your values or on how you feel? Are they based on the facts of the situation or on what other people are pressuring you to do? Are they based on right and wrong or on your circumstances? Are they based on probable outcomes or on wishful thinking? Go to our decision-making guide (link)
4) Consider whether or not you are stuffing your feelings.It is easier to become numb in a crisis situation than to deal with all the overwhelming feelings that invade the mind! So many feelings come to the surface—fear, anger, guilt, confusion, anxiety, embarrassment, helplessness and loss of control in the situation. The proverbial rug has just been pulled out from under you, and nothing is the same as it was just a few days before.Believe it or not, feelings are a good thing. Feelings tell us where we are, so we have a chance to think things through step by step. If we choose not to think, and instead go ahead with quick decisions, or take what we think is the easy way out, too often we live with regret. The only choices we should make are informed choices. Let feelings surface and work through the anger. Become informed about pregnancy facts. Get knowledgeable about abortion procedures and their risks. Learn about post-abortion syndrome. Do not go into any decision blindly.
5) Consider how you are feeling about yourself.How will abortion change your self-image? Consider doing a “time-line.” It will help you determine where you are in life and look back at all that has happened in your past. Look at the present—what changes would you like to see? Consider your future. Are you moving in healthy directions?